How do you develop relationships with students?How does it affect your teaching?How does it affect teaching of teachers who
do not develop those relationships with students?
I build relationships with my students by telling stories about my life and being honest and open about myself. This make my teaching fun and relatable. We can get off task for a few minutes, which provides a nice break/escape from their work and worries and engages them, but we find a way to tie it back to what we are doing (I try to make every moment a teachable moment.) Having a good relationship with your students is imperative to good teaching - good teaching means educating the whole person, not just a set of standards. Teachers who do not develop a relationship with their students find that students are very negative about their work and the classroom. This often makes it difficult for students to feel safe and/or welcomed in their classroom, which leads to them being less likely to ask for help, as well as being less likely to succeed overall in the class.
I like that you tell your students stories. I think it is important for them to us as people, not just teachers. Plus sometimes when stories are told in my class, students learn the answers to questions that they always wanted to know but were afraid to ask or did not know who to ask. It is a great learning experience for both students and teachers!
I love teachable moments! Maybe it's because I tend to follow many rabbit trails, but it's great when students can come in with something they want to know about and learn about it.
Teachable moments would be lost without relationships. There is a whole world waiting for these students and it is not all based upon standards, we do have to build relationships to be able to teach the whole child.
I think that it is important to be open and honest with our kiddos. They know when someone is "snowing" them, and as a result they feel like they are not able to trust that person. I think it is important to make sure that you have a good relationship from the time they walk into the classroom. I have found out that most of the time if you respect the kids, they will respect you.
I think it helps me tremendously that I work with students year after year. I have a student who was placed in 3rd grade, and I still work with her in 8th grade. I have gotten to know her, so when she doesn’t give her best effort, I can talk to her about it, and she responds honestly. Along with this, I try to correct students privately. I think it’s important for students to know that they will be held accountable for their behavior, but that they won’t be chastised in front of the class. I think that there are teachers who want the best for students and expect a lot from them. When they don’t have the relationship with students, the students resent them because of the work, they act out more for those teachers, and they are less likely to do the work.
I like your statement that if the teacher needs to chastise a student that they should not chastise in front of peers. Even as adults we do not like getting called out on during groups. Our emotions are very different then when we are one on one. Good point!
Oh, I agree here! I am also very fortunate to loop my students. I have my junior high kids for 3 years and I love that! I gives us all time to build that relationship and get to know each other. We end up with lots memories and the kdis are always surprised that I know certain things about them. I remind them how long we have worked together. Plus their IEP's get easier to write each year because I do know them and have seen their progress, or lack of.
I think that it is great that you make sure that you don't discipline a student in front of others- sometimes we tend to let our frustration and emotions get the better of us. If you lose your temper sometimes that trust can not be repaired.
I agree with you about being able to work with students year after year. I think it is huge bonus factor when helping to build relationships. I know that I love it!! :)
The first thing I do to develop a relationship with my students is to show interest in something that they are passionate about. It gives me a starting base with students who do not know me. Every year the freshman come into my class and we both have to learn about each other. Showing interest, acting a little silly or weird at times, and treating them all fairly like equals are some key things that helps build my relationship with my students. I am lucky enough to have my students for two years in a row. So my sophomores this year make my teaching very enjoyable, since we already know each other and how each of us can be. My sophomores know that I am not like other teachers and they can share viewpoints with me that I may not agree on. The more a teacher show interest the more relaxed the student and therefore the more enjoyable the class. I strongly believe that the better your relationship with a student the better that student will work for you. I have students that will not do anything for some of their teachers in class. However, when they come into my classroom work is done without an issue. I can tell that when a student of mine has a negative relationship with a teacher they are unwilling to put forth effort and will act differently from teachers they do have a relationship with.
I really think that some of your students get into the passion projects you are doing. It gives you a better idea of who they are and what drives them. Showing the interest in what makes them tick makes a huge difference!
I think this is very important! To get to know them so you can talk aobut how the Royals played the night before or ask about their vacation or how their grandma is doing, etc... It lets them know that you care about them as a whole person, not just as a student.
I can see firsthand the relationships you've built with your students when they list you among the first person they would go to for help - and not always just about the problems they have in school.
I agree Stacy, I think we have to talk to them about more than just the classroom because we all have different interests and activities outside of school.
I am fortunate to have my students for 3 years. In that time frame we can build good relationships. If a student and I struggle during the first year I know I have time to establish a connection in the future. Some relationships are instant and others take time to grow. Sometimes there are relationships that never really take off.
Relationships definately effect my teaching. I am more patient and understanding with my students. I can also be a better advocate for them. I know what they are capable of and I know when to push them and when to back off. Getting to know my students makes me a more effective teacher and they in turn are more willing to listen and cooperate.
My students do complain about other teachers. Teachers who yell alot or are not understanding- seem to care more about the assignments than they do the students. Students know what teachers care and which ones do not and they definately react accordingly! When a student perceives that a teacher does not care they only go through the motions in class but with little effort and enthusiasm.
It is so important we do have that relationship with students. Sometimes when they have several teachers throughout the day, the interrelated teacher is among the few that really see the "big picture" of their day, and know what is going on in their other classes, or even before they come to school.
I love having students multiple years! I had a kiddo last year who was very reserved and quiet until about December. She now talks to me every day during class. I think having her more than one year helped a lot!
Carol, I also get to have students multiple years. That extra time solidifies relationships that last for years after the student leaves me. I think relationships with students are what keeps me going year after year. It is one of the best parts of being an educator.
I love being with my student for the long haul. I get my students as soon as they are placed in special education. We get to build that relationships early.
I get to show students I care by being the one that has time to ask them about themselves, their lives, and their dreams. I can follow their progress from year to year and reinforce how they've grown. I keep an open door policy with others I work with as well, so they have a safe place to vent. We all need to do that sometimes.
That is great! It is amazing how students need an adult that they trust to listen to them. This doesn't mean a lot of extra work as many times the students just need to vent. I enjoy this aspect of teaching special education. It's neat to be able to help our students so much, even when it costs us so little.
In recent years, I have not followed students for extended portions of their educational lives. As a result, I miss some of the long term relationships I would build with them.
I build relationships with my students by letting them se me as a person first and not just as a teacher. I talk to them about their families/my family, interests of theirs and mine, as well as school activities. I have very few behavior problems in my bigger class because my students respect me and I respect them. There are teachers who are run over by their kids because there is no respect.
Some times kids need to know that they are a person, rather than a number, and it's nice to know that the person they look up to is someone they can relate to. Even with the little ones it makes a difference.
Developing relationships with students takes time and effort. Showing sincere concern, caring, and interest are three parts of the equation. I cannot imagine teaching without having relationships with students, how would I know what kind of examples to use? I try to use things students are interested in when explaining concepts. I think that only results from the relationship built on interest. Teachers who have not developed relationships with students would be at a loss when it comes to providing meaningful examples, how would they know where the student’s interest lies in order to get their attention?
I agree with your comments about the importance of using meaningful examples to better reach students. Not too long ago, I was talking with a group of 4 HS students who were expressing their frustrations about a couple of their core classes that they felt like were a complete waste of time because they couldn’t see how anything being taught applied to them. And to be honest, I could see their side of things. However, I also felt like the teachers had had some missed opportunities to work on drawing them in by building off of their interests, as you mentioned.
I build relationships by just being me and letting them see I am an average human. Maybe some days not even average. I also attempt to talk to the kids daily about their lives in school activities and also their lives outside of school. I attend many of the school activities and support them as well as take an interest and listen to them about activities outside of school. I think they see that I do care about them and have respect for them, they then tend to give it back as students. I try to lead by example as much as possible also. We always have to act in a positive way especially in today's technological society.
Sometimes asking them about their day is the only time they see that there is any interest in them and what they do. Having someone to support them and be a role model is more than they have at home and makes a world of a difference.
I build relationships with my students by being open, honest, listening to them, and asking about them. I have students that come back and introduce their wives and kids. It is amazing what these relationships are like. My students know that I am here for anything that they need. We have lots of teachable moments. involving everything from personal issues to money to how to act.
I build relationships with my students by making sure they know that I love and care about them. I make sure that I know what they like and dislike and get to know them on a personal level. If I am wrong, I say I am wrong, and we talk about character and what that means. I make sure that they know that I love and care about them no matter what happens. I also try to be a good role model. I try to practice patience and kindness, and teach respect by giving my students respect. I have high expectations, and most of the time my student surpass those expectations.
It is tough to admit when I am wrong, but it is one of the best ways to show your care and humility. This is a tough thing for anyone, so it is great that you are willing to model this for your students. This is something I could definitely get better at.
Relationships are the foundation for what we do as teachers. Without feeling that teachers care and are willing to nurture growth, it becomes very difficult for students to push themselves and take risks. Many of the students we work with do not have intrinsic reasons to learn at school. For this reason, it is important for teachers to come along side students, encourage them, convince them that I want what's best for them, help them set goals and then hammer them love/tough love. Unless we can diagnose their needs, we will be either trying a one-size-fit-all model with our students or random techniques that might help them.
I build relationships with my students by checking in on them whenever I have a chance. Students know that I get paid to work with them, so they often assume that I only care because I'm paid to care. By checking in on them in the hall, in the lunchroom, after school, in the community, I try to break down this logic. Another way to build relationships is to create positive interactions whenever possible. This is especially true with students with behavioral needs. There will be many times you have to stand firm with these students, which may result in a strained relationship, but if you make every effort to have positive interactions with these students at other times, they will respond better during times of conflict. Another way to build relationships is to allow students to disrupt your schedule. Whether it's a student stopping to say hi in the hallway, coming in for extra help after school, or having a kid keep you in at lunch, this all tells a student that you care.
Building relationships helps you know more about the students. You can better meet their individual needs, incorporate examples to help them relate to the content, and greatly cuts down on negative behaviors. Teachers that don't build relationships will struggle to care about their students, help them individually/differentiate instruction, meet their more basic needs, and face more behavioral issues.
How do you develop relationships with students? How does it affect your teaching? How does it affect teaching of teachers who do not develop those relationships with students?
I develop relationships with students by listening to them and by making learning fun. I take and interest in what they are interested in. Developing relationships with my students affects my teaching by making it more important to me. I don't want to fail them because I love and care for them. Teachers that do not develop relationships with kids tend to have more behavior problems and the kids tend to learn less. If their heart is not with the students then it is not in their teaching either.
I agree with you when mentioned that teachers tend to have more difficulties with students that they don’t develop relationships with. It’s amazing to see what a night and day turnaround a positive relationship can make with a student. It’s also amazing to me that all teachers don’t recognize this and take the time and effort to develop those relationships.
It is obvious in your teaching that you love and care for your students. I totally agree that if a teacher's heart is not with the students then its not in their teaching either.
I feel like trying to develop deeper relationships with the students I work with is a little more difficult because I don’t see them on a super consistent basis. However, on the other hand, I guess maybe it’s also a little easier because I’m not their typical teacher, someone who’s assigning homework, or pushing academics non-stop, you know??? I can talk with them more about their interests, how their life’s going, etc. I also always make sure to greet them and ask how they’re doing anytime I see them, in school or out. Often times I hear from teachers who (I’m completely assuming) maybe don’t have the best relationship with a particular kiddo, that they feel like the student works better for me. I don’t know if that’s necessarily because of any relationship we’ve formed, or if it’s due to me using a different approach when working with them. Regardless, like I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I feel like teachers who develop meaningful relationships with their students tend to get more out of them.
How do you develop relationships with students? How does it affect your teaching? How does it affect teaching of teachers who do not develop those relationships with students?
I develop relationships through various ways. I let them know I care about them in their own way by hugging them, high five, fist punch, or just smile at them. I develop security through letting them know they are in a safe environment. I teach Early childhood but some of these kids come from some rough families and backgrounds. They come scared, insecure and even feel unloved. It breaks my heart to think what their home life may be like but I assure them that at school they are in a safe place. I had one little girl that is selective mute, it took me a long time to build a relationship with her but once I did, it was unstoppable. She would come to my room for pull out support and while she was in there we worked, then I gave her a chance to play with sand or play dough while talking about whatever she wanted to. I allowed her to open up but she knew she was safe but if anyone walked in she immediately shut down. She is now in another building and comes to pick up her sister in my building, she will get out of her gma's car to hug me which took me a long time to allow any kind of touch. Most of the teachers I have worked with have developed a relationship with most of the kids but if they haven't built the relationship, they will cause behavior, cry, not talk, non-compliance, develop nervous habits such as chewing on hair, nails or skin, and will make it miserable for the teacher causing it to be miserable for everyone involved. They may send them to me to work and not even try to work with the student. The para and everyone becomes frustrated. The teacher may not understand that if they would just stop for 5 minutes and build a relationship that many problems would ease.
I develop relationships with students by first creating an environment that is open, honest, caring, fun-loving, etc. So many of my students need a safe haven during their day; I make sure that my room is that place for them. I listen when they yell and talk, and I dry their tears when that is needed. My students know that I am a safe person to vent to and I am a safe person to share information with.
I think having positive relationships with my students helps my teaching and makes me a better teacher! I am with my students for multiple years, as I am the only SpEd teacher in the building K-6. I think that help so much with building relationships because they get to know me and I get to know the students and their parents. I think it's a beautiful thing to have them for so many years. We can definitely get more done each year quicker because we don't have to do the whole "get to know you" thing. :)
I often feel bad for the teachers who don't take the time needed to build relationships with their students. It is so incredibly obvious when it comes to behavior issues or even attitudes. There is one teacher in my building that my kiddos constantly complain about; I often hear the same complaints coming from that teacher in regards to my kiddos. I think that when teachers don't have relationships with their students, the students don't learn as much or even enjoy school as much because they don't feel a connection with the teacher. I wish everyone could understand how important it is.
In general I think special education teachers have a great opportunity to develop strong relationships with their students. Unlike regular education teachers who might teach every student in a grade level, we get a much smaller group who we spend more time with. I get to know my students by listening to them, asking them about their lives, and by coaching them in sports. Students need to know that their teachers care about them before they care about what the teacher is teaching. I think creating these relationships makes my teaching much more effective. One of the reasons for this is a lack of behavior problems. When students know their teacher inside and outside of school, and their is a mutual respect, they are much less likely to act out against them. Also when I have a ton of positive interactions with students its much easier to enforce classroom rules without potential adverse effects.
When I go into classrooms where teachers don't have a great relationship with students it is very noticeable. Students tend to be much less engaged in what the teacher is saying and behavior problems start to creep into the equation.
I try to develop relationships with students by always acknowledging them and asking about what they are doing or something I know they are interested in when I enter the interrelated room. Even though I don't see students on a daily basis, I think I can still build solid relationships with them by showing an interest in them whenever I do see and interact with them. Students sense when a teacher actually cares about them and their interest and when a teacher is just going through the motions.
One of the best ways to develop relationships is to truly listen to what students have to say. Asking questions about them and answering their questions about yourself are important. Being truly interested in what they have to say or about their lives is also important because most people can tell if your body language tells them that you have other more important things to do or places to be. Your attitude makes a difference. Trying to see them in a positive light, being supportive of their successes, and being supportive in their efforts to confront difficult challenges make a difference. I believe that that the saying that many students won't care about what we have to teach until they know that we care about them is true. Some of the teachers who develop the most enduring relationships with their students have a sense of humor and take time to celebrate their students' successes.
I build relationships with my students by telling stories about my life and being honest and open about myself. This make my teaching fun and relatable. We can get off task for a few minutes, which provides a nice break/escape from their work and worries and engages them, but we find a way to tie it back to what we are doing (I try to make every moment a teachable moment.) Having a good relationship with your students is imperative to good teaching - good teaching means educating the whole person, not just a set of standards. Teachers who do not develop a relationship with their students find that students are very negative about their work and the classroom. This often makes it difficult for students to feel safe and/or welcomed in their classroom, which leads to them being less likely to ask for help, as well as being less likely to succeed overall in the class.
ReplyDeleteI like that you tell your students stories. I think it is important for them to us as people, not just teachers. Plus sometimes when stories are told in my class, students learn the answers to questions that they always wanted to know but were afraid to ask or did not know who to ask. It is a great learning experience for both students and teachers!
DeleteI love teachable moments! Maybe it's because I tend to follow many rabbit trails, but it's great when students can come in with something they want to know about and learn about it.
DeleteTeachable moments would be lost without relationships. There is a whole world waiting for these students and it is not all based upon standards, we do have to build relationships to be able to teach the whole child.
DeleteI think that it is important to be open and honest with our kiddos. They know when someone is "snowing" them, and as a result they feel like they are not able to trust that person. I think it is important to make sure that you have a good relationship from the time they walk into the classroom. I have found out that most of the time if you respect the kids, they will respect you.
DeleteI LOVE teachable moments! It allow our students to see us as people too! :)
DeleteLearning comes from so many more places than just academic instruction.
DeleteI think it helps me tremendously that I work with students year after year. I have a student who was placed in 3rd grade, and I still work with her in 8th grade. I have gotten to know her, so when she doesn’t give her best effort, I can talk to her about it, and she responds honestly. Along with this, I try to correct students privately. I think it’s important for students to know that they will be held accountable for their behavior, but that they won’t be chastised in front of the class.
ReplyDeleteI think that there are teachers who want the best for students and expect a lot from them. When they don’t have the relationship with students, the students resent them because of the work, they act out more for those teachers, and they are less likely to do the work.
I like your statement that if the teacher needs to chastise a student that they should not chastise in front of peers. Even as adults we do not like getting called out on during groups. Our emotions are very different then when we are one on one. Good point!
DeleteOh, I agree here! I am also very fortunate to loop my students. I have my junior high kids for 3 years and I love that! I gives us all time to build that relationship and get to know each other. We end up with lots memories and the kdis are always surprised that I know certain things about them. I remind them how long we have worked together. Plus their IEP's get easier to write each year because I do know them and have seen their progress, or lack of.
DeleteI agree that the more time you spend with a student the better they respect and know you and you know them.
DeleteI think that it is great that you make sure that you don't discipline a student in front of others- sometimes we tend to let our frustration and emotions get the better of us. If you lose your temper sometimes that trust can not be repaired.
DeleteI agree with you about being able to work with students year after year. I think it is huge bonus factor when helping to build relationships. I know that I love it!! :)
DeleteI would completely agree with you that looping with students is a huge advantage in building relationships.
DeleteThe first thing I do to develop a relationship with my students is to show interest in something that they are passionate about. It gives me a starting base with students who do not know me. Every year the freshman come into my class and we both have to learn about each other. Showing interest, acting a little silly or weird at times, and treating them all fairly like equals are some key things that helps build my relationship with my students.
ReplyDeleteI am lucky enough to have my students for two years in a row. So my sophomores this year make my teaching very enjoyable, since we already know each other and how each of us can be. My sophomores know that I am not like other teachers and they can share viewpoints with me that I may not agree on. The more a teacher show interest the more relaxed the student and therefore the more enjoyable the class.
I strongly believe that the better your relationship with a student the better that student will work for you. I have students that will not do anything for some of their teachers in class. However, when they come into my classroom work is done without an issue. I can tell that when a student of mine has a negative relationship with a teacher they are unwilling to put forth effort and will act differently from teachers they do have a relationship with.
I really think that some of your students get into the passion projects you are doing. It gives you a better idea of who they are and what drives them. Showing the interest in what makes them tick makes a huge difference!
DeleteI think this is very important! To get to know them so you can talk aobut how the Royals played the night before or ask about their vacation or how their grandma is doing, etc... It lets them know that you care about them as a whole person, not just as a student.
DeleteI can see firsthand the relationships you've built with your students when they list you among the first person they would go to for help - and not always just about the problems they have in school.
DeleteActing silly is my go to!! We LOVE go noodle in my room because we can be dorks without any judgement 😂
DeleteI agree Stacy, I think we have to talk to them about more than just the classroom because we all have different interests and activities outside of school.
DeleteI am fortunate to have my students for 3 years. In that time frame we can build good relationships. If a student and I struggle during the first year I know I have time to establish a connection in the future. Some relationships are instant and others take time to grow. Sometimes there are relationships that never really take off.
ReplyDeleteRelationships definately effect my teaching. I am more patient and understanding with my students. I can also be a better advocate for them. I know what they are capable of and I know when to push them and when to back off. Getting to know my students makes me a more effective teacher and they in turn are more willing to listen and cooperate.
My students do complain about other teachers. Teachers who yell alot or are not understanding- seem to care more about the assignments than they do the students. Students know what teachers care and which ones do not and they definately react accordingly! When a student perceives that a teacher does not care they only go through the motions in class but with little effort and enthusiasm.
It is so important we do have that relationship with students. Sometimes when they have several teachers throughout the day, the interrelated teacher is among the few that really see the "big picture" of their day, and know what is going on in their other classes, or even before they come to school.
DeleteI love having students multiple years! I had a kiddo last year who was very reserved and quiet until about December. She now talks to me every day during class. I think having her more than one year helped a lot!
DeleteCarol, I also get to have students multiple years. That extra time solidifies relationships that last for years after the student leaves me. I think relationships with students are what keeps me going year after year. It is one of the best parts of being an educator.
DeleteI love being with my student for the long haul. I get my students as soon as they are placed in special education. We get to build that relationships early.
DeleteI get to show students I care by being the one that has time to ask them about themselves, their lives, and their dreams. I can follow their progress from year to year and reinforce how they've grown. I keep an open door policy with others I work with as well, so they have a safe place to vent. We all need to do that sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI agree, I think it is a big thing to talk to them about life outside of school not just the school work we help them with.
DeleteThat is great! It is amazing how students need an adult that they trust to listen to them. This doesn't mean a lot of extra work as many times the students just need to vent. I enjoy this aspect of teaching special education. It's neat to be able to help our students so much, even when it costs us so little.
DeleteIn recent years, I have not followed students for extended portions of their educational lives. As a result, I miss some of the long term relationships I would build with them.
DeleteI build relationships with my students by letting them se me as a person first and not just as a teacher. I talk to them about their families/my family, interests of theirs and mine, as well as school activities. I have very few behavior problems in my bigger class because my students respect me and I respect them. There are teachers who are run over by their kids because there is no respect.
ReplyDeleteSome times kids need to know that they are a person, rather than a number, and it's nice to know that the person they look up to is someone they can relate to. Even with the little ones it makes a difference.
DeleteI think it helps kids alot when we share our things about our lives with them. It helps to build rapport with them.
DeleteDeveloping relationships with students takes time and effort. Showing sincere concern, caring, and interest are three parts of the equation. I cannot imagine teaching without having relationships with students, how would I know what kind of examples to use? I try to use things students are interested in when explaining concepts. I think that only results from the relationship built on interest. Teachers who have not developed relationships with students would be at a loss when it comes to providing meaningful examples, how would they know where the student’s interest lies in order to get their attention?
ReplyDeleteJerrie-
DeleteI agree with your comments about the importance of using meaningful examples to better reach students. Not too long ago, I was talking with a group of 4 HS students who were expressing their frustrations about a couple of their core classes that they felt like were a complete waste of time because they couldn’t see how anything being taught applied to them. And to be honest, I could see their side of things. However, I also felt like the teachers had had some missed opportunities to work on drawing them in by building off of their interests, as you mentioned.
I build relationships by just being me and letting them see I am an average human. Maybe some days not even average. I also attempt to talk to the kids daily about their lives in school activities and also their lives outside of school. I attend many of the school activities and support them as well as take an interest and listen to them about activities outside of school. I think they see that I do care about them and have respect for them, they then tend to give it back as students. I try to lead by example as much as possible also. We always have to act in a positive way especially in today's technological society.
ReplyDeleteSometimes asking them about their day is the only time they see that there is any interest in them and what they do. Having someone to support them and be a role model is more than they have at home and makes a world of a difference.
DeleteI build relationships with my students by being open, honest, listening to them, and asking about them. I have students that come back and introduce their wives and kids. It is amazing what these relationships are like. My students know that I am here for anything that they need.
ReplyDeleteWe have lots of teachable moments. involving everything from personal issues to money to how to act.
I build relationships with my students by making sure they know that I love and care about them. I make sure that I know what they like and dislike and get to know them on a personal level. If I am wrong, I say I am wrong, and we talk about character and what that means. I make sure that they know that I love and care about them no matter what happens. I also try to be a good role model. I try to practice patience and kindness, and teach respect by giving my students respect. I have high expectations, and most of the time my student surpass those expectations.
ReplyDeleteIt is tough to admit when I am wrong, but it is one of the best ways to show your care and humility. This is a tough thing for anyone, so it is great that you are willing to model this for your students. This is something I could definitely get better at.
DeleteRelationships are the foundation for what we do as teachers. Without feeling that teachers care and are willing to nurture growth, it becomes very difficult for students to push themselves and take risks. Many of the students we work with do not have intrinsic reasons to learn at school. For this reason, it is important for teachers to come along side students, encourage them, convince them that I want what's best for them, help them set goals and then hammer them love/tough love. Unless we can diagnose their needs, we will be either trying a one-size-fit-all model with our students or random techniques that might help them.
ReplyDeleteI build relationships with my students by checking in on them whenever I have a chance. Students know that I get paid to work with them, so they often assume that I only care because I'm paid to care. By checking in on them in the hall, in the lunchroom, after school, in the community, I try to break down this logic. Another way to build relationships is to create positive interactions whenever possible. This is especially true with students with behavioral needs. There will be many times you have to stand firm with these students, which may result in a strained relationship, but if you make every effort to have positive interactions with these students at other times, they will respond better during times of conflict. Another way to build relationships is to allow students to disrupt your schedule. Whether it's a student stopping to say hi in the hallway, coming in for extra help after school, or having a kid keep you in at lunch, this all tells a student that you care.
Building relationships helps you know more about the students. You can better meet their individual needs, incorporate examples to help them relate to the content, and greatly cuts down on negative behaviors. Teachers that don't build relationships will struggle to care about their students, help them individually/differentiate instruction, meet their more basic needs, and face more behavioral issues.
I think that it is very important to motivate through modeling and encouraging intrinsic motivation.
DeleteHow do you develop relationships with students? How does it affect your teaching? How does it affect teaching of teachers who do not develop those relationships with students?
ReplyDeleteI develop relationships with students by listening to them and by making learning fun. I take and interest in what they are interested in. Developing relationships with my students affects my teaching by making it more important to me. I don't want to fail them because I love and care for them. Teachers that do not develop relationships with kids tend to have more behavior problems and the kids tend to learn less. If their heart is not with the students then it is not in their teaching either.
Michelle-
DeleteI agree with you when mentioned that teachers tend to have more difficulties with students that they don’t develop relationships with. It’s amazing to see what a night and day turnaround a positive relationship can make with a student. It’s also amazing to me that all teachers don’t recognize this and take the time and effort to develop those relationships.
It is obvious in your teaching that you love and care for your students. I totally agree that if a teacher's heart is not with the students then its not in their teaching either.
DeleteI feel like trying to develop deeper relationships with the students I work with is a little more difficult because I don’t see them on a super consistent basis. However, on the other hand, I guess maybe it’s also a little easier because I’m not their typical teacher, someone who’s assigning homework, or pushing academics non-stop, you know??? I can talk with them more about their interests, how their life’s going, etc. I also always make sure to greet them and ask how they’re doing anytime I see them, in school or out. Often times I hear from teachers who (I’m completely assuming) maybe don’t have the best relationship with a particular kiddo, that they feel like the student works better for me. I don’t know if that’s necessarily because of any relationship we’ve formed, or if it’s due to me using a different approach when working with them. Regardless, like I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I feel like teachers who develop meaningful relationships with their students tend to get more out of them.
ReplyDeleteHow do you develop relationships with students? How does it affect your teaching? How does it affect teaching of teachers who do not develop those relationships with students?
ReplyDeleteI develop relationships through various ways. I let them know I care about them in their own way by hugging them, high five, fist punch, or just smile at them. I develop security through letting them know they are in a safe environment. I teach Early childhood but some of these kids come from some rough families and backgrounds. They come scared, insecure and even feel unloved. It breaks my heart to think what their home life may be like but I assure them that at school they are in a safe place. I had one little girl that is selective mute, it took me a long time to build a relationship with her but once I did, it was unstoppable. She would come to my room for pull out support and while she was in there we worked, then I gave her a chance to play with sand or play dough while talking about whatever she wanted to. I allowed her to open up but she knew she was safe but if anyone walked in she immediately shut down. She is now in another building and comes to pick up her sister in my building, she will get out of her gma's car to hug me which took me a long time to allow any kind of touch.
Most of the teachers I have worked with have developed a relationship with most of the kids but if they haven't built the relationship, they will cause behavior, cry, not talk, non-compliance, develop nervous habits such as chewing on hair, nails or skin, and will make it miserable for the teacher causing it to be miserable for everyone involved. They may send them to me to work and not even try to work with the student. The para and everyone becomes frustrated. The teacher may not understand that if they would just stop for 5 minutes and build a relationship that many problems would ease.
I agree that it is important to create a safe and loving environment in order for our kids to learn.
DeleteI develop relationships with students by first creating an environment that is open, honest, caring, fun-loving, etc. So many of my students need a safe haven during their day; I make sure that my room is that place for them. I listen when they yell and talk, and I dry their tears when that is needed. My students know that I am a safe person to vent to and I am a safe person to share information with.
ReplyDeleteI think having positive relationships with my students helps my teaching and makes me a better teacher! I am with my students for multiple years, as I am the only SpEd teacher in the building K-6. I think that help so much with building relationships because they get to know me and I get to know the students and their parents. I think it's a beautiful thing to have them for so many years. We can definitely get more done each year quicker because we don't have to do the whole "get to know you" thing. :)
I often feel bad for the teachers who don't take the time needed to build relationships with their students. It is so incredibly obvious when it comes to behavior issues or even attitudes. There is one teacher in my building that my kiddos constantly complain about; I often hear the same complaints coming from that teacher in regards to my kiddos. I think that when teachers don't have relationships with their students, the students don't learn as much or even enjoy school as much because they don't feel a connection with the teacher. I wish everyone could understand how important it is.
In general I think special education teachers have a great opportunity to develop strong relationships with their students. Unlike regular education teachers who might teach every student in a grade level, we get a much smaller group who we spend more time with. I get to know my students by listening to them, asking them about their lives, and by coaching them in sports. Students need to know that their teachers care about them before they care about what the teacher is teaching. I think creating these relationships makes my teaching much more effective. One of the reasons for this is a lack of behavior problems. When students know their teacher inside and outside of school, and their is a mutual respect, they are much less likely to act out against them. Also when I have a ton of positive interactions with students its much easier to enforce classroom rules without potential adverse effects.
ReplyDeleteWhen I go into classrooms where teachers don't have a great relationship with students it is very noticeable. Students tend to be much less engaged in what the teacher is saying and behavior problems start to creep into the equation.
I agree that it is important to let the students know that we care about them first and for most!
DeleteI try to develop relationships with students by always acknowledging them and asking about what they are doing or something I know they are interested in when I enter the interrelated room. Even though I don't see students on a daily basis, I think I can still build solid relationships with them by showing an interest in them whenever I do see and interact with them. Students sense when a teacher actually cares about them and their interest and when a teacher is just going through the motions.
ReplyDeleteOne of the best ways to develop relationships is to truly listen to what students have to say. Asking questions about them and answering their questions about yourself are important. Being truly interested in what they have to say or about their lives is also important because most people can tell if your body language tells them that you have other more important things to do or places to be. Your attitude makes a difference. Trying to see them in a positive light, being supportive of their successes, and being supportive in their efforts to confront difficult challenges make a difference. I believe that that the saying that many students won't care about what we have to teach until they know that we care about them is true. Some of the teachers who develop the most enduring relationships with their students have a sense of humor and take time to celebrate their students' successes.
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